John Linton Another day - another great opportunity to demonstrate unbelievable fortitude in the face of insurmountable crassness and stupidity. Unfortunately I think I ran out of fortitude sometime in late 2007 and have been faking it ever since......equally unfortunately there seems no possibility that the world's population will run out of crassness, stupidity and just sheer ridiculity so the situation becomes impossible for a sentient being with any vestige of commonsense and reasonableness to function......and I'm referring to dealing with the various vicissitudes that beset anyone foolish enough to think that they might like to offer some sort of service or product to some sort of marketplace in Australia.
For some three years I have observed with growing alarm the various sources of distraction to the serious business of providing data transmission services to people who want to obtain them from Exetel. Many positive things have happened over the past few years - (number of end customers, monthly revenues, bandwidth deployed, number of personnel employed and all sorts of 'real' aspects of business life Exetel has steadily grown from a one person in the back room of a residential house in a Sydney suburb into a small company operating in two countries with all of the complexities that are the essential and inevitable components of 'modern' business life in the Antipodes in 2009). Unfortunately many totally negative things have come into existence and grown alarmingly over the same period of time.
I have always understood Arthur Wellesley's dictum that you should never fight unless you are sure you can win (subsequently ascribed, wrongly, to some fictional Sun Tzu writing by the CIA) and have further understood the dictum that if you are forced to fight when the outcome is uncertain or even if defeat is inevitable then at least choose the ground on which to fight. I referenced yesterday that I was always grateful for Wellesley's contemporary, and almost as successful counterpart, who added that in such circumstances it is always essential to have a 'Plan B'.
I have also kept this 'CV' in my diary for more decades than I feel comfortable remembering:
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1816 - He had to work to support his family after they were forced out of their home. | |
1818 - His mother died. | |
1831 - Failed in business. | |
1832 - Was defeated for legislature. | |
1832 - Lost his job and couldn't get into law school. | |
1833 - Declared bankruptcy, and spent the next 17 years of his life paying off the money he borrowed from friends to start his business. | |
1834 - Was defeated for legislature again. | |
1835 - Was engaged to be married, but his sweetheart died and his heart was broken. | |
1836 - Had a nervous breakdown and spent the next six months in bed. | |
1838 - Was defeated in becoming the speaker of the state legislature. | |
1840 - Was defeated in becoming elector. | |
1843 - Was defeated for Congress | |
1846 - Was defeated for Congress. | |
1848 - Was defeated for Congress again. | |
1849 - Was rejected for the job of Land Officer in his home state. | |
1854 - Was defeated for Senate. | |
1856 - Was defeated for Vice-President -- got less than 100 votes. | |
1858 - Was defeated for Senate for the third time. | |
1860 - Was elected President of the United States at the age of 51. | |
as a reminder that sometimes it takes a very long time, and the ability (lack of imagination to change, stupidity?) to recover from a huge number of setbacks before, if you are lucky, you might, just might achieve something you have always believed is worth achieving (and we probably all remember how John Wilkes Booth thought such a life should end).
It shouldn't need the titanium will of Abraham Lincoln, the intuitive understanding of rapidly changing and evolving complex situations of the Duke of Wellington (on one of his better days) nor the instinctive strategic genius and mastery of Napoleon Bonaparte to deliver data services at low costs but with some level of success in Australia in the early years of the 21st century but I'm beginning to think I'd prefer to be in a forward positioned British square at around 7.30 pm on 18th June 1815 as the Old Guard emerged from the smoke less than 40 meters away than attempt to deal with the cloud cuckoo land interlocutions with the TIO that drive so many well meaning people to an early (metaphorical) grave.
At least facing five elite infantry battalions of 20 year veterans of the most successful military force then yet seen in the history of the world you would understand what you were supposed to do and even if you thought there was no chance of you doing it there was some sort of half a half chance that you might live to see your home and family again.....even if it was minus some useful but not vital parts of your anatomy.
Dealing with the newly employed and totally unknowledgeable 'grunts' of the TIO doesn't allow for any such faint hope - irrespective of whatever you do, or for however long you do it or however correct it is you will still feel 30 centimeters of (metaphorical) French steel ripping your rib cage apart within 60 seconds of speaking to a TIO employee. If only Bonaparte had had the massed strength of the TIO complaint help desk instead of eight battalions of the old and middle guard the British at Waterloo would have broken and run screaming for their mothers as soon as they recognised who they were up against and we'd all now be speaking French (which when I come to think of it, the employees of the TIO may well speak for all the sense their statements make to monolingual ISP employees - it certainly doesn't appear to be any form of English that I recognise).
It's an impossible 'challenge' and asking an employee to deal with the TIO is the equivalent of condemning a person to the fate of that legendary King of Corinth - but with a larger boulder and a much steeper hill (and I'm sure none of us have ever seriously annoyed Zeus or killed anyone). We have tried since the first time we dealt with the TIO to find a realistic way of reducing the enormous time wasted on handling their, almost always, ludicrous scenarios. Personally, I don't think there is a solution having looked at everything sensible that has been tried and implemented. While it is not an option to just give up (and I mean it simply cannot be done - you can't give up - it isn't allowed - hence the Sysiphus simile) we must find a way(s) of ending the absolute time wasting that is caused but, far more importantly, we must protect the poor people who have to associate with this Federal madness for more than a few months as it is almost a career destroying job.
So, once I finish this coffee I will wend my weary and hyper-reluctant way down Military Road to, once again, try and find a way of escaping from this pitiless blight which turns everything, and every person, it touches to dross. Never mind - there's the Exetel end of financial year cocktail party to look forward to tonight.